It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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