I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
