Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
