She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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