the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
