I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
