I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
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