i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
