sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
