girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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