He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My vagina is officially offended.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
