I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
