Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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