; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
