So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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