You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
