Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
