a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
