He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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