i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
