I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Still dying that you shit outside
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
