i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
