dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
