Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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