So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
