Cold hands, warm shart.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
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