Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize