4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Randomize
