Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
