Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
