oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
