Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I am available for nakedness
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
