Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
