All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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