bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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