Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
