Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
