went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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