I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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