All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
