She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
