i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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