Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
