I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
