well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
