I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
