i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
