Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
