So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
