I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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