I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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