Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize
