i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
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