I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i just google imaged poop.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
